Sunday, March 2, 2008

Too much depression

As the only male child in the family, it was always considered to be my responsibility to take care of my mom and (mentally disabled) sister, Erum. Implicit in this assumption is another assumption that I will marry a girl that will be a house wife and would happily take care of everything at home while I would be busy making money. I could have made piece with the former assumption but the latter would obviously involve me enslaving another person and that simply goes against my basic principles of morality.

When i moved to Finland two years ago, i thought i will be able to live the rest of my life independent and free as at that time it seemed very likely that my mom and Erum will soon be moving to Canada with my sister, Uzma (Api) and her family. Unfortunately, the Canadian authorities denied them immigration an year after i moved to Finland (7 years after the application was submitted) based on the argument that they will be a burden on their social system despite Api's continuous assertion that she will take full responsibility of their common day needs. She is still fighting with the authorities. While, my western friends think very highly of me for sending a significant amount of my salary to my mom, all my relatives and most of my friends in pk think of me as a very bad person for not fulfilling my duties that i mentioned above.

Recently! My mom got diagnosed with cancer. They say that its at a very early stage but the surgery alone will cost a bit more than my salary. It should be possible for me to afford that with credit/loan though but the real problem is who will take care of Erum while my mom is sick. I just hope that she gets cured soon and the Canadian authorities do give them immigration.

To add to my agony, gupnp-av-cp has started to segfault on me. I get different backtraces, none of them making any sense to me. I thought it might be because of recent updates of gtk, glib or libsoup but i tried older versions of all of these but the segfault still remains. According to Mr. valgrind, this is a problem in libsoup.


Unknown said...

I read your post on PGo. I _hope_ things get better for you and your family. Hang on.

Unknown said...

Hang in there buddy. I must applaud you for your openness, PGO seems a bit happy-go-lucky at times (when people are not flaming each other :-)).

Stuff like this makes people remember that there are real people with real-world problems sitting behind those blogs.

Remember to keep your faith no matter what the future brings.

sri said...

Hey man.. best wishes. I hope your mother beats out the cancer quickly. You'll get through this. It's a relief that your mom got diagnosed at the right time!


Anonymous said...

Good luck, and hang in there.

I know how hard it can be, and let me tell you: you're doing a fine job as it is.

Don't let other people get you down, if they were really so great, they wouldn't be looking down on you, but instead trying to help you out!

Anonymous said...

I also read your post on PGO, I really wish you and yhour family all the best.

behdad said...

Those are some tough times dude, hope the Canada thing works out... It may take a while, but this will be over too. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

One of the lesser-known downsides of a massively socialized country: strict evaluation of immigrants based on their ability to support more than they use. Yet another reminder that such services still have a cost.

(I don't mean to turn this into a political comment in general; I just hate when people don't realize that these kinds of issues affect *real people*.)

Unknown said...

hope things work out in the end!

nancy said...

Everywhere peoples will be ready to drag legs don't listen for them as the day's goes everything will be alright don't worry your mamma will get cure early i will pray for god let's hope for the best TAKE CARE Buddy.
Dual Diagnosis

Dual Diagnosis